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We talked to Greer about why it's critical that we quit keeping score and start finding ways to compromise.

MC: Why do you say selfishness ruins relationships?

[Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend] How to deal with selfish people If you’re traumatized by a selfish person in your own life, don’t hate yourself for it. No one really realizes that a partner or a friend is selfish at the beginning of the relationship.

You’d only see the signs when it’s too late, and there’s little you can do to change their behavior after that. A selfish person is one who cares only for their own pleasures, even if it causes pain to someone else.

When I asked her why she cares so much about her appearance, she looks surprised: “Why would I choose to not look beautiful? How is anyone going to notice your rich inner world if you don’t attract attention?

” The worst thing is that if you are going out with a Russian girl you will either have to dress up and put a lot of effort in looking nice, or everyone will be looking at you and wondering, how did a pretty lady like her end up with that slob?

But as the relationship starts to grow, you’d start to feel emotionally weak around this person.

And before you know it, they could suck the happiness out of you, and all you can do is watch helplessly.

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Their wives followed them voluntarily to cold deserted lands and shared the punishment.

For years now women have been told to be more assertive in their relationships, that in the healthiest partnerships, you and your man contribute equally—be it around the house or in bed.

But that mind-set can cause one-for-me-one-for-you accounting, which ultimately breeds resentment.

Selfish people are always lovable, nice and really sweet. For all you know, you may be in love with a selfish person right now, or perhaps you have a best friend who’s selfish.

Unfortunately for you, the traits of a selfish person aren’t easy to notice, because they cover their darker side so well.

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